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Some men are coming to kill us. We’re going to kill them first.

Bond, James Bond.

[After electrocuting a henchman]
Shocking. Positively shocking.

Kamal Khan:
You seem to have this nasty habit of surviving.

James Bond:
You know what they say about the fittest.

[After shooting Vargas with a spear gun]
I think he got the point.

A martini. Shaken, not stirred.

Log cabin girl:
Oh James, I cannot find the words.

James Bond:
Well, let me try and enlarge your vocabulary.

What? No small-talk? No chit-chat? That's the trouble with the world these days. Nobody takes the time to do a real sinister interrogation. It's a lost art.

Pat Fearing:
What exactly do you do?

James Bond:
Oh, I travel... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.

Sir Donald Munger:
Tell me, Commander, how far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds?

James Bond:
Well, hardest substance found in nature, they cut glass, suggest marriages, I suppose it replaced the dog as the girl's best friend. That's about it.

Run along now dear, man talk.

James Bond:
My dear, uncooperative Domino.

Domino:
How do you know that? How do you know my friends call me Domino?

James Bond:
It’s on the bracelet on your ankle.

Domino:
So, what sharp little eyes you’ve got.

James Bond:
Wait ’till you get to my teeth.

I know the rules, and number one is 'no deals.

Miss Moneypenny:
You’ve never taken me to dinner.

James Bond:
I would, you know. Only M would have me court-mar­tialed for...
illegal use of government equipment.

James Bond:
The wine is quite excellent. Although for such a grand meal I would have expected a claret.

Mr. Wint:
But of course. Unfortunately, our cellar is poorly stocked with clarets.

James Bond:
Mouton Rothschild is a claret. And I've smelled that aftershave on you before, and both times I've smelled a rat.

You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you?
What I did tonight was for Queen and country!

Russian Lady Agent:
But James, I need you!

James Bond:
So does England!

My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!

Tatiana:
[Trying on dresses] I will wear this one in Piccadilly.

James Bond:
You won’t. They’ve just passed some new laws there.

Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up.

James Bond:
That gun, it looks more fitting for a woman.

Largo:
You know much about guns, Mr. Bond?

James Bond:
No, but I know a little about women.

Now put your clothes
back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream.

[As Bond unzips Miss Caruso's dress with the magnet in his watch]
Miss Caruso:
Such a delicate touch.

James Bond:
Sheer magnetism, darling.

Pussy Galore:
My name is Pussy Galore.

James Bond:
I must be dreaming.

Take a giant step for mankind.

That's a Smith & Wesson, and you've had your six.

James Bond:
Weren’t you a blonde when I came in?


Tiffany Case:
Could be.

James Bond:
I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.

Tiffany Case:
Which do you prefer?

James Bond:
Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match&ldots;

 Ingenious, and useful too. Allow a man to stop off for a quick one en route.

Alec Trevelyan (Agent 006 turned bad)
James... what an unpleasant surprise.

James Bond:
We aim to please.

James Bond:
Everyone needs a hobby...

Raoul Silva:
So what's yours?

James Bond:
Resurrection.

Tiger Tanaka:
[Bond being bathed by Tanaka’s women]
You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don’t you?
It’s the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.

James Bond:
Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."

Fiona:
Some men just don’t like to be driven.

James Bond:
No, some men don’t like to be taken for a ride.

The Chinese have a saying;
Before setting off on revenge, you first dig two graves.

Francisco Scaramanga:
A duel between titans. My golden gun against your Walther PPK.

James Bond:
One bullet against my six?

Francisco Scaramanga:
I only need one, Mr. Bond.

You’re a woman of many parts, Pussy!

Now the whole world will know that you died scratching my balls.

James Bond:
Why do Chi­nese girls taste different from all other girls?

Ling:
You think we better, huh?

James Bond:
No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar.
But I love them both.

Ling:
Darling, I give you very best duck.

Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She's just dead.

Plenty O’­Toole:
Hi, I’m Plenty.

James Bond:
But of course you are.

Plenty O’­Toole:
Plenty O’­Toole.

James Bond:
Named after your father perhaps?

Irma Bunt:
Is anything ze matter, Sir Hilary?
[As a girl writes on Bond’s leg under the table]

James Bond:
Just a slight stiffness coming on... in the shoulder.

Max Zorin: [The morning af­ter Bond sleeps with May Day]
You slept well?

James Bond:
A little restless but I got off eventually.

I admit killing you would be a pleasure.

Lachaise:
I’m giving you the opportunity to walk out with the money, Mr. Bond.

James Bond:
I’m giving you the opportunity to walk out with your life.

Mr. Kil:
I’m Mr. Kil.

James Bond:
Now there’s a name to die for.

Vesper Lynd:
If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known.

James Bond:
That's because you know what I can do with my little finger...

Minister of Defence:
Bond! What do you think you’re doing?

James Bond:
Keeping the British end up, sir.

Why is it that people who can’t take advice always insist on giving it?

The Cigar Girl:
Would you like to check my figures?

James Bond:
Oh, I’m sure they’re perfectly rounded.

[after Kananga imbibes an air capsule and blows up like a balloon]
He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.

Fiona Volpe:
Do you like wild things Mr. Bond, Mr. James Bond.

James Bond:
Wild? You should be locked up in a cage.

I’ll do anything for a woman with a knife.

James Bond:
Pistols at dawn; it’s a little old-fashioned, isn’t it?

Francisco Scaramanga:
That it is. But it remains the only true test for gentlemen.

James Bond:
On that score, I doubt you qualify. However, I accept.

Verity:
I see you handle your weapon well.

James Bond:
I have been known to keep my tip up.

I’m sorry. That last hand... nearly killed me.

Jinx:
Wait, don’t pull it out. I’m not finished with it yet.

James Bond:
See? It’s a perfect fit.

Q:
Age is no guarantee of efficiency.

James Bond:
And youth is no guarantee of innovation.

Well, I like to do some things the old-fashioned way.

James Bond:
Who is the competition?

Jack Wade:
AH, an ex-KGB guy. Touch mother. Got a limp in his right leg. Name’s Zukovsky.

James Bond:
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky?

Jack Wade:
Yeah, you know him?

James Bond:
I gave him the limp.

Franz Oberhauser:
Why did you come?

James Bond:
I came here to kill you.

Franz Oberhauser:
And I thought you came here to die.

James Bond:
Well it’s all a matter of perspective.

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James Bond:
Well my dear, I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle.

Jenny Flex:
Yes, I love an early morning ride.

James Bond:
Well, I’m an early riser myself.

Blofeld:
James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.

James Bond:
Yes, this is my second life.

Blofeld:
You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

They say you’re judged by the strength of your enemies.

Governments change. The lies stay the same.

Elektra King:
I could have given you the world.

James Bond:
The world is not enough.

Elektra King:
Foolish sentiment.

James Bond:
Family motto.

This never happened to the other fellow.

[After watching a villain fall from a cliff]
He had no head for heights.

Don’t think. Just let it happen.

Dr. Holly Goodhead:
You know him?

James Bond:
Not socially. His name’s Jaws, he kills people.

Hello. My name is
James St. John Smythe.
I’m English.

James Bond:
Which bullet has my name on it? The first or the last?

Major Anya Amasova:
I have never failed on a mission, Commander. Any mission.

James Bond:
In that case, Major, one of us is bound to end up gravely disappointed,
because neither have I.

Honey:
Are you looking for shells too?

Bond:
No I'm just looking.

James Bond:
Q, I'll need a new suit. Someone stuck a knife through my coat.

Q:
They missed you, what a pity.

I am now aiming precisely at your groin.
So speak or forever hold your piece.

James Bond:
Do you believe in bad luck?

Jinx:
Let’s just say my relationships don’t seem to last.

James Bond:
I know the feeling.

Pam, this is Q, my uncle. Uncle, this is Miss Kennedy, my cousin.

Whoever she was, I must have scared the living daylights out of her.

James Bond:
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Q:
That’s putting it mildly, 007!

Natalya Simonova:
Do you destroy every vehicle you get into?

James Bond:
Standard operating procedure. Boys with toys.

James Bond: [In bed with Christmas Jones]
I was wrong about you.

Dr. Christmas Jones:
Yeah, how so?

James Bond:
I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

Jack Wade:
Jack Wade, CIA.

James Bond:
James Bond, stiff-ass Brit.

James Bond:
You’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen.

Tatiana:
Thank you, but I think my mouth is too big.

James Bond:
No, it’s the right size... for me, that is.

I didn't order anything, not even you.

Xe­nia Onatopp:
You don’t need the gun.

James Bond:
Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.

Vesper:
You love me?

James Bond:
Enough to travel the world with you until one of us has to take an honest job... which I think is going to have to be you,
because I have no idea what an honest job is.

Largo:
Do you lose as gracefully as you win?

James Bond:
I don’t know, I’ve never lost.

[After a gangster is crushed in a car]
He had a pressing engagement.

James Bond:
You were pretty good with that hook.

Wai Lin:
Thanks. It comes from growing up in a rough neighborhood.
You were pretty good on that bike.

James Bond:
Thank you. It comes from not growing up at all.

Miss Anders! I didn't recognise you with your clothes on.

James Bond:
In my business, you prepare for the unexpected.

Franz Sanchez:
And what business is that?

James Bond:
I help people with problems.

Franz Sanchez:
Problems solver?

James Bond:
More of a problem eliminator.

[After watching a villain get crushed under a statue of the Duke of Wellington]
He met his Waterloo.

Fatima Blush:
Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.

James Bond:
Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James.

Mmm, maybe I misjudged Stromberg.
Any man who drinks Dom Perignon ’52 can’t be all bad.

James Bond:
Good morning. How’s the water?

Chew Mee:
Why don’t you come in and find out?

James Bond:
Sounds very tempting, Miss...?

Chew Mee:
Chew Mee.

James Bond:
Really? Well, there’s only one small problem. I have no swimming trunks.

Chew Mee:
Neither have I.

Vijay:
I hear the Island is exclusively for women, no men allowed.

James Bond:
Sexual discrimination, I will definitely have to pay it a visit.

Don’t worry. I’m not supposed to be here either.

[After a hearse flies over a cliff and explodes]
I think they were on their way to a funeral.

Draco:
My apologies for the way you were brought here.
I wasn’t sure you’d accept a formal invitation.

James Bond:
There’s always something formal about the point of a pistol.

James Bond:
You're not my type.

Vesper Lynd:
Why, because I have half a brain?

James Bond:
No, because you're single.

[After cutting his own boot off his foot and watching a baddie fall to his death]
He got the boot.

The things I do
for England.

There is a four-letter word, and you’re full of it.

James Bond:
I think that's enough, Goldfinger, you've made your point.

Goldfinger:
Choose your next witticism wisely, Mr. Bond, it may be your last.

James Bond:
Do you expect me to talk?

Goldfinger:
No Mr. Bond I expect you to die!

Both hands on the wheel, Mr. Jones, I'm a very nervous passenger.

[Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to Solitaire]
Solitaire:
Is there time before we leave, for Lesson number 3?

James Bond:
[Undressing] Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked.

Moneypennny, let me tell you the secret of the world.

World domination. The same old dream.
Our asylums are full of people who think they're Napoleon. Or God.

M:
When do you sleep 007?

James Bond:
Never on the firms time sir.

Red wine with fish...Well that should have told me something.

[After a villain’s death by snowblower]
He had a lot of guts.

You must be joking.

You know he kills little girls like you.

James Bond:
[Whilst being in bed with his Scandinavian language tutor]
I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.

Miss Moneypenny:
You always were a cunning linguist, James.

Tiger, contact M. Tell him to send Little Nellie, repeat Little Nellie.
Also tell him to send her father.

Xenia Onatopp:
Enjoy it while it lasts.

James Bond:
The very words I live by.

You see, we have all the time in the world.

Tiffany Case:
You just killed James Bond!

James Bond:
Is that who that was? Well, it just goes to show no one's indestructible!

Good morning, gentlemen. ACME pollution inspection.
We're cleaning up the world, we thought this was a suitable starting point.

Lucky me.

If it has to be done. I'd rather do it!

James Bond:
The name’s Bond. James Bond.

Fire Captain:
Yeah, and I’m Dick Tracy and you’re still under arrest.

Sorry about that.

There's something I'd like you to get off your chest.

Front Desk Clerk:
I hope you have a pleasant stay.

James Bond:
[Bond eyes a beauty nearby who smiles at him] I'm, ah, sure I will.

It's just that not so long ago, I would have described your feelings towards me as ... I'm trying to think of a better word than "loathing."

James Bond:
You know, you're cleverer than you look!

Q:
Hmm... still, better than looking cleverer than you are.

No, no, no. No more foreplay.

M:
Bond, I need you back.

James Bond:
I never left.

Raoul Silva:
Well, first time for everything.

Bond:
What makes you think this is my first time?

This man and I have some unfinished business.

Only a certain kind of wears a backless dress with a
Beretta 70 strapped to her thigh.

M:
Remember, 007, you're on your own.

James Bond:
Well, thank you, sir. That's a great comfort.

Bond:
I've been missing the touch of a good women.

Jinx:
Who says I'm good?

Jenny Flex:
Welcome, sir. I'm Jenny Flex.

James Bond:
Of course you are.

That's a nice little nothing you're almost wearing!

Tiffany Case
I'll finish dressing.

Bond:
Oh please don't, not on my account.

Vesper Lynd:
It doesn’t bother you? Killing all those people?

James Bond:
Well I wouldn’t be very good at my job if it did.

Hope you enjoyed the show... Goodnight.

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